Why You REALLY Want a Coffee Enema

Admit it. The first time you read COFFEE ENEMA, you thought, “Have they lost their minds?!” I mean, the words “coffee” and “enema” aren’t two words that you’d usually want to put in the same sentence.

Go ahead and make the jokes. We make them too: “You want cream or sugar with that?” “Make it a double,” and “I’ll have a cappuccino, please” are some favorites.

In this post, I hope to clear up (or clear out?) any questions about coffee enemas. I feel like it’s my moral obligation, because during the weeks of research I did before we began this protocol, I discovered that coffee enemas are brewed of sheer caffeinated AWESOMENESS.

The History of Coffee Enemas

• Believe it or not, the first known record mentioning colon therapy is an Egyptian medical document dated as early as 1500 B.C. Egyptians used enemas, diuretics, suppositories, and other cleansing and purification methods to cure a variety of diseases.
• Hippocrates (460-377 BC), who is widely recognized as the founding father of Western medicine, prescribed the use of enemas as colon therapy.
• Enemas were practiced in Mayan Ceremonies and many other Central American and South American Indian tribes. Some surviving tribes continue using this colon cleansing practice to this day.
• The story I tell the most (and I encourage you to share) is the use of coffee enemas by German nurses during World War II. Pre-surgery enemas are common practice, but when the nurses ran out of fresh water, they used the doctors’ coffee instead. Patients immediately noted a dramatic decrease in the pain they’d been experiencing, and so when the infirmary ran out of morphine, nurses began using coffee enemas instead.
• Dr. Max Gerson began using coffee enemas in his research in the early 1920′s to support the detoxification process, and you know the rest of the story…

The Benefits of Coffee Enemas

• The caffeine in coffee enemas creates a natural dialysis in the liver and intestines, which opens the bile ducts in the liver and allows toxins to flow more freely.
• Blood circulates through the liver every 3 minutes, so Gerson patients are encouraged to hold each enema for at least 12 minutes in order to support a full cycle of dialysis. This process allows encourages the excretion of dead cancer cells and other toxic products from blood across the colonic wall.
• Coffee enemas also decrease the quantity of blood serum toxins, cleaning the poison out of the fluid, which supports the creation of normal cells.
• Coffee enema aficionados rave that clearer skin, improved digestion, elimination of menstrual cramps (raises hand), lighter periods, and weight loss are among the many benefits they’ve experienced.
• For treatment of chronic illnesses, 5-6 enemas per day are recommended. As part of a general wellness program, no more than one per day.

How to Prepare a Coffee Enema

• Boil 500 ml. of distilled water.
• When water is boiling, add 3 tbsp. of organic coffee.
• Allow the coffee to boil on a low boil for 3 minutes. This allows the aromatic oils to be boiled off, rather than being absorbed by the body.
• After 3 minutes, cover the pot and simmer for an additional 15 minutes.
• Filter the coffee several times using a fine sieve.
• Add an additional 500 ml. to the concentrated, brewed coffee (for a full liter) and serve at body temperature (98.6 F/37 C), or a maximum of 105 F (40.5 C).

How to Administer a Coffee Enema

With a big dose of humor. As Helena mentioned in her first blog post, one of the first hurdles she had to face was overcoming the embarrassment of needing my help. As I remind her on a daily basis, love knows no bounds. I see each day how quickly her pain and discomfort are relieved, and I’ve become so in tune with her that I can literally “feel” when it’s time for the next one.

[If you really want to know how to administer an enema, I'd go to this site.]

To keep Helena laughing, I began singing songs to set the mood, and after awhile I even invented new songs to keep things fresh. One of our early favorites was Roll Me Over in the Clover, which is always a crowd pleaser:

“This is number one, the fun has just begun,

roll me over, lay me down and do it again!”

Coffee Enema Playlist

Some of the songs I’ve been known to sing are:

Parliament (aka P-Funk), Give Up the Funk: It’s especially important to sing “We’re gonna turn this mutha out!” while shaking your badunka in the direction of the enema chamber.

MC Hammer, U Can’t Touch This: Very effective when enema receiver won’t get off the computer and the coffee is cooling. Shout: “STOP! Enema time!”

Montell Jordan, This is How We Do It.  Does it need an explanation?

Sarah Vaughn, Black Coffee: because everyone loves a classic.

I wrote this remake of an original song while I was administering and Helena was receiving a coffee enema in a hotel in Abadiania. We’ve got more where this came from:

Got Coffee

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Cafe IAO:

• Represents the human being who achieves his/her verticality: being on the earth but connected to the cosmos.

• Represents this human being’s openness and receptivity to the Universal Love.

• Represents the larger Human Family united and envolved in the preservation of Planet Earth.

This is a translation of the label on the box of the organic coffee we use for Helena’s enemas. Only the best for her bunda!